A Brief History
Moles first arrived in Lincolnshire around 1366 AD, which coincidentally was when Stella Artois was introduced to good 'ol Blighty. Since then, the Mole community has flourished despite being faced with many adversities. For example, in 1979 the worm market was privatised by good old Maggie. This led to mass migration by the Moles, leading to diverse Mole communities being established throughout the Northern Hemisphere. From there, the Mole soon learnt where his bread was well buttered. For example, you will never find a Mole in France. This is mainly due to the French twats molethnically cleansing Moles by shoving garlic down mole hills. Wankers....!!! What did the Moles ever do to the French?? Wankers....!! |
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Monty - A New Breed Of Hero
Monty is perhaps the public face of Moledom, popularised by a computer game in the 80's on the Sinclair ZX Spectrum(c). Commonly misconstrued as a fictional character, he is still on his 'walk-a-bout', championing the cause of Moles. He is a fella well known for his dress sense, and thus revered throughout the Mole communities as the 'Jean-Paul Gautier' of the Moleing world. He is renowned for being influencial within the fashion world, having introduced the shell suit to Liverpool, white stilletoes to Essex, and the bowler hat to the capital city of London. He can even be seen on the odd occasion wearing a knotted hankie on the coast of Ingoldmels.
Looking after Moles
Moles need worms. This, however, became increasingly difficult when 'Thatcher The Worm Snatcher' not only privatised, but also introduced the internal worm market. This, in turn, led to the mass migration of Moles, and sent Moledom 'underground'. From here, the Moles sought sanctuary within the slightly hilly country of Wales, where they found that upon speaking to a 'local', they were washing phlegm off their spectacles for a fortnight. This was due to the 'double LL syndrome'. Fortunately, this is also common in Moles, and having found their natural human counterpart, settled in this suitable but ugly country.
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