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Welcome!
This site contains information for anyone in the least bit interested in moles, their lives, loves, migratory habits and their unique place in our history. |
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The Origin of the Mole
Originally from it's mother, the Mole geographically began it's long and worthy role from the beautiful (but flat) county of Lincolnshire.
The rumours that Moles also inhabited Wales before humans are also true. This can be easily proved when you learn that Welsh is derived from Moleish (the offical language of Moledom). Moles spend a lot of time underground and constantly get dirt caught in their throats, this produces a gravelly, phlemmy sound not un-like the modern Welsh used today.
Moles are big on travel and have often been classed as nomadic. This is not strictly true as a Mole's Hole is always very close to his heart. They nearly all return to their birthhole to live out their last years quaffing ale and chatting with friends from their youth. Normally making up outrageous stories of their exploits in the hope of emulating the Great Monty.
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Featured Mole : Monty
Monty was the pioneer mole. At a time when other Moles were happily tending their holes, or enjoying dancing and light refreshment at the "local", Monty grew further away from his peers. A lonely Mole from an impoverised family of 28, Monty soon learnt how to stand on his own four paws.
From his early days little is known, it was only when Monty first began his famous "wanderings" that the legend began. Although not the first to leave the quiet Mole Hills of Lincolnshire, he was certainly the first to ever return from "the outside".
Monty is now hailed as the greatest Mole Pioneer in the history of Moledom and was awarded the Order of Mole (1st Class)...many a young Moles journeys are encouraged with the words "Monty go with you".
(pic below)
  
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Mole Misconceptions
Moles are commonly known as mice with big hands. This is NOT true. Mole are actually VERY intelligent creatures with incredibly complex society structures. For example, they particularly enjoy holidaying in Skegness (or indeed anywhere a Butlins can be found).
Moles are often accused of ruining human farmland and gardens with their tunneling...we can assure you this is not deliberate. This is normally caused by a Mole who's had a bit too much ale just trying to find his way home after a joyful night out with friends. Taking a spade to his head might be seen in some quarters as "overkill".
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The Myth of the Mole
Contrary to popular belief and culture, Moles are NOT blind. They wear glasses for vanity reasons and to assist them in reading the daily press... especially the business pages, and the "Eating Out" section.
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